What got you here on Listening

This exercise included one of the densest examples of good listening behaviors I’ve ever read:

Make your next interpersonal encounter–whether it’s with your spouse or a colleague or a stranger–an exercise in making the other person feel like a million bucks. Try to employ the tiny tactics we’ve outlined here.

• Listen.
• Don’t interrupt.
• Don’t finish the other person’s sentences.
• Don’t say “I knew that.”
• Don’t even agree with the other person (even if he praises you, just say, “Thank you”).
• Don’t use the words “no,” “but,” and “however.”
• Don’t be distracted. Don’t let your eyes or attention wander elsewhere while the other person is talking.
• Maintain your end of the dialogue by asking intelligent questions that (a) show you’re paying attention, (b) move the conversation forward, and (c) require the other person to talk (while you listen).
• Eliminate any striving to impress the other person with how smart or funny you are. Your only aim is to let the other person feel that he or she is accomplishing that.⊕ (Goldsmith 2007)