Continuum of Active Listening

Active listening happens on a spectrum. Here it is, from less active to more active:

• Set the Intention to Listen
• Create the Environment
• Attention / presence
• Silence
• Non verbal encouragement / body language (e.g. nods, eyes widen)
• Small verbal encouragers (e.g. “oh no!” “I see”)
• Paraphrasing/empathy (i.e. periodic “check ins” on facts and feelings with “… is that right?”)
• Summarizing (i.e. “big picture” summation of the main points at the end of the “story”)
• Questions (with care)

A summary that is not preceded by regular paraphrasing may be wrong … seem dismissive … miss opportunities to connect

Empathy is not the same as sympathy. Sympathy contains engagement of your own feelings and opinions. e.g. “How sad. I can’t believe he treated you that way.”

Empathy demonstrates understanding without aligning or opinion. e.g. “From what you describe, it seems you felt hurt and sad when you reached out to him and he didn’t respond”

⊕ (Notini n.d.)