The Art of Communicating
| B | Lightweight read about being mindful during communication. |
We always have time for at least one in-breath and out-breath before we pick up the phone or before we press send on a text or e-mail. (Nhat Hanh 2014, chap. 2)
there is a Buddha inside each of us. “The Buddha” is just a name for the most understanding and compassionate person it’s possible to be. (Nhat Hanh 2014, chap. 3)
There are two keys to effective and true communication. The first is deep listening. The second is loving speech. (Nhat Hanh 2014, chap. 3)
The Six Mantras of Loving Speech
…
The first mantra is “I am here for you” …
The second mantra is “I know you are there, and I am very happy” …
… “I know you suffer, and that is why I am here for you” …
… “I suffer, please help” …
… “This is a happy moment” …
… “You are partly right” … (Nhat Hanh 2014, chap. 4)
If your partner says something untrue, don’t interrupt and say, “No, no, you’re wrong. That wasn’t my intention.” Let him speak out. He’s just trying to speak out the difficulty. If you interrupt, he will lose his inspiration to speak, and he will not tell you everything. You have plenty of time. (Nhat Hanh 2014, chap. 5)
It is a three-part process: watering flowers, expressing regrets, and expressing hurts and difficulties. (Nhat Hanh 2014, chap. 9)
Just practicing the first part of beginning anew–flower watering–can increase the happiness and communication in your family or your workplace. You don’t need to do all three parts each time. Especially when the practice is new to you, it will work to spend most of your time on flower watering. Then slowly over time, as trust is built, you can add the second and third parts. (Nhat Hanh 2014, chap. 9)
When the atmosphere becomes heavy and unpleasant, and it seems that one person is losing his or her temper, you can use the practice of the cake to restore harmony. First of all, breathe in and out three times to give yourself courage. Then turn to the person or people who seem upset and let them know you just remembered something. When they ask you what, you can say, “I remember that we have a cake in the refrigerator.” (Nhat Hanh 2014, chap. 9)